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5G Mind Control Division
Tower installation near you complete- Your neighborhood 5G tower is now operational and ready for thought broadcasting...
Flat Earth Society OFFICIAL
NASA caught using CGI again- Breaking: More evidence that all space photos are fake...
Chemtrail Monitoring Agency
Today's atmospheric spraying schedule- Your daily dose of aluminum and barium is on the way...
MK-Ultra 2.0
Your social media algorithm has been updated- New mind control protocols are now active on all your devices...
Reptilian High Council
Mandatory shape-shifting maintenance- All reptilians must report for hologram calibration this week...
Deep State HR Department
Your crisis actor paycheck is ready- Payment for your performance at the recent 'incident'...
Illuminati Fashion Police
Your tinfoil hat is approved- Congratulations! Your headwear meets our standards for looking crazy...
Weather Control Station
Hurricane deployment successful- The storm you ordered has been delivered to the target coordinates...
Bigfoot Relocation Program
Sasquatch spotted near your area- Emergency: A Bigfoot has wandered outside the designated cryptid zone...
Simulation Support Team
Glitch in the matrix detected- We noticed you experienced déjà vu three times today...
Bird Surveillance HQ
All pigeons are drones - deployment update- Your neighborhood surveillance birds have been upgraded...
CERN Portal Division
Mandela Effect test successful- We've changed your timeline again. Did you notice?...
Moon Landing Studio
Hiring actors for Mars landing footage- Kubrick isn't available, so we need new directors for the Mars hoax...
Vaccine Microchip Support
Your microchip firmware needs updating- Please visit your nearest 5G tower for the latest software patch...
Time Travel Prevention Unit
Stop trying to warn your past self- We've detected your attempts to send messages back in time...
CIA Operation Mockingbird
You've been selected for the next psyop- Congratulations! Your social media engagement shows you're prime psyop material...
Illuminati Recruitment
Your invitation to the New World Order- Greetings, we've noticed your potential for blind obedience...
Project Blue Beam
URGENT: Holographic alien invasion scheduled- This is not a drill. The fake alien invasion is set for next Tuesday...
Chemtrail Operations
Today's cloud seeding schedule- Morning shift: Aluminum oxide. Afternoon: Barium salts. Evening: Whatever makes people docile...
5G Mind Control Division
New tower activation complete- Your neighborhood now has full mind control coverage...
Flat Earth Society Official
The globe lie is crumbling- NASA admitted they lost the technology to go to the moon (because we never went)...
Reptilian Overlords
Your planet's takeover: 99% complete- Just wanted to update you on our progress infiltrating world governments...
MK-Ultra Reloaded
Your trigger words have been updated- Please disregard this email. You won't remember reading it anyway...
HAARP Weather Weapons
Hurricane creation successful- Thanks to HAARP technology, we successfully created three hurricanes this month...
Big Pharma Psyops
New disease marketing campaign launch- We invented a new syndrome and the cure. Isn't capitalism beautiful?
Deep State Headquarters
Your voting machines have been calibrated- Democracy is working perfectly... for us...
False Flag Operations
Next false flag event scheduled- We need to take away more freedoms, so we're planning another crisis...
Simulation Administrators
Your reality patch notes v2.024- We updated your simulation. You may experience some glitches...
Globalist Agenda 2030
You will own nothing and be happy- By 2030, we'll have taken everything from you. And you'll thank us...
Fluoride Distribution
Water supply medication schedule- Time to add more fluoride to keep the population docile...
Antarctic Secret Base
Ice wall patrol report- All civilians kept away from the edge. Flat earth secret remains safe...
Mind Control Through Music
New subliminal frequencies deployed- This month's pop music contains enhanced obedience triggers...
Vaccine Tracking Division
Microchip GPS coordinates online- All vaccinated citizens are now fully trackable. Phase 1 complete...
Mainstream Media Scripts
This week's approved narratives- Here's what every news channel needs to say this week...
Crypto Rug Pull Planning
$PSYOPED token distribution complete- All believers have bought in. Ready to pull the rug on command...